Acquisitions & Despair Firm: Malachar, Sorrowfield, & Grim (A wholly-owned subsidiary of the Netherium Pact) Role: Junior Ethicist (Unpaid)
He handed me the logs. Then he whispered, “Page forty-two has a loophole that lets you keep 5% of the profits for yourself. I didn’t tell you that.”
But last week, a new intern arrived. A dryad. Bright eyes. Hopeful. She asked me for advice. You Can-t Corrupt Me- -Tale of the Naive Elven ...
I looked at her. Then at the coffee mug full of damned tears.
I poured her a cup.
I stood up. I pulled off my lanyard.
“They had a hostile work environment,” I said. “I was protecting the interns.” Acquisitions & Despair Firm: Malachar, Sorrowfield, & Grim
“Don’t,” I said. “Run.”
I took the logs. I did not report the loophole. A dryad
“You’ll be fine,” said the recruiter, a goblin with six gold teeth and no discernible soul. “Just don’t sign anything in blood. Or ink. Or saliva. Or metaphysical intent.”
A human colleague, Dave (formerly a paladin of the Dawn, now a mid-level spreadsheet warlock), was about to be fired for “moral hesitancy.” I knew this because I had accidentally gained access to the HR abyss.