WARNING: Before reading this manual, please verify you are holding the correct device. If the device is warm to the touch, humming in a major key, or displaying a date from the year 1997, please close this manual immediately and place the unit in a salt circle. Congratulations on your acquisition of the Nako Na-617a! You are now the proud owner of the "Personal Reality Harmonizer." Do not let the brushed aluminum casing fool you; inside the Nako Na-617a lies the most unstable quantum oscillator ever assembled by a corporation that went bankrupt three days after shipping this unit.